What Makes Me Laugh

I used to say things like, “I could never live anywhere that didn’t have the four seasons.” Meaning snow, of course. The older I get, the more I hope to never say never, because right now I feel like I could live somewhere without the four seasons, very easily.

Yes, I ski. Yes, I get out during the winter. Yes, I do think snow is pretty, especially on the mountains on a clear day. But I have to say, the dark that comes with the cold around here makes me irritable, and the cold can be painful for someone with as poor of circulation as I apparently have. My hands double as ice cubes for most of the winter. I don’t even need to get an ice pack for an injury. I just put my hands on my neck or my knee, and get immediate relief. I wonder if that’s what they call a healer?

Unfortunately for Doug, I sometimes try and warm my hands or feet on his body, and he yelps like an animal in pain every time. I just don’t know why. Huh.

As I’ve noted before, amnesia sets in around here once the weather starts to warm up a bit, and you forget that you ever had thoughts about living in the South Pacific because summers are so perfect. But right now I wish I was a snow bird, and could fly until I felt the sun on my face and heard waves crashing from an ocean nearby. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

Each year about October, the light starts to fade in Montana and darkness drifts into our mornings and evenings like an unwelcome snake. Frankly, it makes me a little crazy to go to work and come home in the dark. By the time Christmas rolls around I’m eating enough sugar to make me susceptible to adult-onset diabetes and am crying at Hallmark commercials.  This syndrome unfortunately has a name and it’s called SAD — which stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. It makes you depressed for about six months out of the year.

Now,I’m not sure whether the acronym SAD happened by accident, or was a deliberate play on words by some witty psychiatrist, but it’s not helpful. If you had a learning disability, would you want to have to tell your teacher, “I’m sorry Mrs. Smith, but I have STUPID”? Or if you were impotent would you want your doctor to prescribe Viagra for FLACCID? No, I don’t think so. It’s bad enough to be depressed, but to have to tell everyone, “I’ve got SAD,” is both humiliating and bad grammar.