What Makes Me Laugh

In trying to find the original skit about “fline swu” on SNL in 1975-76 I did find an episode with Dyan Cannon, Chevy Chase, and Dan Aykroyd that uses swine flu in the plot. It aired on May 15, 1976 at the end of the first season of Saturday Night Live. Thanks to the website, SNL Transcripts for publishing a transcript.

In this skit, Dyan plays a wife with her lover, Chevy Chase, caught in an amorous act on her couch  by Dan Aykroyd, the husband. Chevy Chase uses his fake job as a swine flu innoculator as an excuse for the embrace. I’ve highlighted the relevant parts about swine flu in this partial transcript of  the episode:  

Husband: Hey, wait, wait, wait, please! I just want a simple explanation here, okay? 

Lover: Sure thing, yes. 

Husband: Uh, now, let’s just all relax here, because this is – 

Wife: Darling, he’s a medical student! 

Lover: — entirely an innocent mistake, I am a medical student. And medical school being expensive, as it is, I had to, uh.. as it were, I got to go wash cars, deliver lamps, anything to pay for it. 

Husband: Uh-huh, uh-huh.. 

Lover: And, of course, you know the president has called for a massive, uh.. innoculation, because of the swine flu, uh, all over the country, and I had to volunteer and I’m supposed to innoculate the entire neighborhood. In fact, I don’t have much time, I’d better get out there and innoculate. 

Husband: Uh, yeah, yeah. Swine flu, but, uh – 

Wife: Yes, darling, and there’s a lot of it going around. 

Lover: Oh, boy.. 

Husband: Well, uh, I don’t understand how you ended up top of my wife, that’s all. I mean, uh.. 

Lover: Well, I have been working so hard at this, I must have passed out, I’m really sorry – 

Wife: That’s right, honey! We were innoculating when you came in! 

Lover: That is true. That is the truth, that is the honest truth. 

Husband: Okay, I see. I’m sorry I got a little upset. I mean, the swine flu thing is important, I guess. It’s just got us all a little crazy! 

[ they all laugh together at the silliness of their situation ] 

Lover: Well, yeah, you’re a very understanding man, and I thank you, and I guess I’d better be on my way. [ shakes husband's hand ] Thank you very much. Goodbye, Angie. [ kisses her on the lips, then turns to leave ] 

Husband: [ catching on ] Wait a minute! What’s this business with Angie! How do you know her name! 

Lover: Let me see those eyes.. [ grabs Husband's eyes ] 

Husband: [ alarmed ] What’s wrong with my eyes? 

Lover: Let me see those eyes. 

Wife: [ also grabs her husband's eyes ] Oh, my God, darling! 

Lover: You’re a little dilated here. 

Wife: Oh, darling! 

Lover: I think you’d better sit down here. 

[ Husband is seated on the couch ] 

Wife: The eyes underneath, they don’t look so good. Maybe I should get some hot water? 

Husband: [ frantic ] What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! 

Lover: You’re perspiring a little bit, and I think your pulse is just a ltitle bit high. You might just have a touch of the swine flu. 

Husband: The swine flu?! I’ve got it?! 

Lover: You might have it. 

Husband: Swine flu? I’ve got it? 

Lover: He could use an innoculation. 

Wife: An innoculation! 

Lover: Now, look, I’ve got plenty of vaccine in my truck. You wait here, and I’ll get it. We’ll take care of this right away. 

Husband: [ excited ] The swine flu! I’ve got it! 

Lover: You’ll be alright, you just wait here, I’ll get that vaccine [ exits house ] 

Husband: I’m one of the first waves to get it! 

Wife: I think it’s gonna be alright. 

Husband: I’ve been thinking about it all day, I’ve been so worried it all day, you know, thinking about it. But I guess I was lucky to walk in here, with the presidential innoculator in my own home! That’s luck!That’s real luck! 

Wife: Yes.. yes. 

[ sound of a car driving away ] 

Husband: So, uh.. he’ll just give me a shot, and, uh.. [ a beat ] I don’t think he’s coming back.. somehow. 

Wife: Who? 

Husband: The innoculator! 

Wife: The what? 

Husband: The medical student, with the car wash, who-who-who delivers lamps! Who-who, uh.. 

Wife: What lamp? We’ve had that lamp for twelve years. Come on, darling – supper is ready. [ exits into kitchen ] 

Husband: [ momentarily confused ] Supper! Yeah. I should eat something. I’ve got an appetite, that’s a good sign! Maybe, maybe I don’t have it! Maybe I don’t got that old swine! [ happy; relieved ] Yeah! [ stands triumphantly ]

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I spent several hours on the Internet tonight trying to track down a video clip or transcript of a Saturday Night Live skit about Fline Swu (or Swine Flu) from 1975. Doug swears that’s where the nickname for Swine Flu  came from and I’m dying to see the original skit. I tried searching every which way and it doesn’t seem to exist online or maybe at all. Sometimes Google doesn’t have all the answers.

In the process, however, I found this gem: a public service announcement from the 1970’s about the Swine Flu. The second part, where the man kisses everyone in the family and his mother’s friend dies as a result is funny because the background narrator is speaking as if she’s selling a household cleaning product instead of a vaccine for a virus. Slate Magazine explained this week that if you did get the vaccine in 1976 and didn’t die from an allergic reaction to it, you probably do have some immunity to this virus, but keep washing your hands anyway.

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