The secret life of the 91-year-old

St. Patty's Day Parade at The Villages

Doug and I have been vacationing with seniors in Florida, and it was an eye-opening trip. What keeps us young at heart and spry of limbs was on full-display at The Villages, a retirement community where Doug’s father now resides.

Let’s take the St. Patty’s Day parade, which not only sported the usual golf carts decorated with green ribbons and “Support the Troops” stickers, but an 80-year-old belly dancer and troops of “senior” baton twirlers.

80-years young and still dancing

I was lucky enough to mix work and play on this trip and arrived at my father-in-law Ed’s just in time for his Saturday-night dance club party. It was probably the most fun I’ve had at a party since, well, I don’t know when. Six couples of various ages and sizes participated in karaoke for the women and the men (Raindrops Keep Falling on Your Head, and Old McDonald Had a Farm were popular). They all gladly accepted kazoos, and pom-poms and marched around the room to a beat with Betty (Ed’s partner) leading the procession with a baton. Yowzas.

Doug joins in with the kazoo chorus

I knew I was having a good time at the party when Olive, an active 91-year-old, told me that the secret to her good health was … are you ready for this … beer. Yep! A beer a day keeps the Dr. away according to Olive, who also disclosed that she was also a Cougar.

“Really!”

“Yes, I’m three months older than Russell, my boyfriend.”

Russ later told me the secret to good health is sex.

Well, I never.

Later in the week I got to watch Olive in action again at the Village’s premier night club, Katie Belle’s, where we all took to the dance floor in earnest. The group of them go every Tuesday to waltz, polka, line dance, and go crazy and it shows. They are fit. Olive was called to do an impromptu solo dance to the song, “Bad Girls,” and she shimmied her hips right down to the ground while my jaw dropped.

Although Olive isn’t really a bad girl, they all know of them, and I heard tales of seniors’ parties where men put car keys in a bucket, and women go home with the owner of the set of keys they draw out. As a result, venereal disease is rampant in that part of the country (seriously).

Another lesson learned. You’re never too old to need a condom, and that’s the truth. Toot Toot. Beep Beep.