How (not) to Super Coupon

Unless you’re a Goldman Sachs banker, you’re probably looking for ways to stay within your budget. I normally stay away from financial ideas that seem too good to be true, but I happened on an article on Slate.com (my favorite online read during my lunch hour) by Alicia Barney who test-drove the concept of saving big bucks at the supermarket with coupons:

“After disappearing into the coupon blogosphere for two solid days, I felt ready for my first outing. But I didn’t feel confident enough to go it alone, so I arranged for a coach. I met couponer Pam Rea, a finance secretary for the local government, at her sprawling suburban Chicago Jewel-Osco store, the Midwestern outpost of Albertson’s Inc. I had previously assumed that a couponing diet meant only boxed and processed foods, but Rea’s yield seemed balanced. She picked up pork tenderloin, apples, bananas, and organic milk in addition to Pringles and frozen French toast sticks.

When every item was scanned, Rea’s total was $174.55. But after each coupon was validated, the number dropped—to $36.89, including $6.08 in taxes. She handed over $30 worth of store credits and charged the remaining 81 cents plus tax—which couponers must pay out of pocket—on her debit card. She’d saved $167.66. Not bad at all.”

Alicia’s narrative busted two myths of mine: 1.) Coupons are only useful if you’re looking for savings on Hamburger Helper type products; and 2.) Coupons won’t save you much money so it’s not worth your time.

Mathematically, the idea isn’t hard to grasp. To get the lowest price on a product you pair manufacturer’s coupons (say, General Mills $1.00 coupons for Cheerios) with the supermarket’s best sale price or coupon, and voilá! Mucho money saved on your grocery items.

Even better, supermarkets offer Catalinas, coupons that give you cash back for buying a certain amount of goods or groceries.  Think: If I buy $30 worth of these products, I’ll get a $5 coupon good for any item in the store back when I finish my purchase.

This knowledge was enough to set me off on an obsessive compulsive week of trying to game the supermarket system. If someone else is smart enough to get most of their groceries for free, well, I can too (I thought).

I started with Jill Cataldo, the syndicated columnist and expert on Super Couponing whose blog offers 200 places to find coupons, and a whole primer on how to super coupon. She actually offers courses on using coupons, which I think kind of defeats the purpose, so I decided to launch my grocery savings on my own.

A couple of things surprised me. A lot of organic companies offer coupons for milk and eggs and other products I buy. And, you can “load” your electronic grocery card with coupons online so you don’t have to take any paper with you to the store. I also found out that you don’t need your local paper. At Albertson’s online you can find an electronic copy of their sale flyer and even make your own list of sales items by clicking on them. Last week they advertised their own Catalina  – buy $30 worth of groceries from their sale flyer and get a $15 coupon back!

Wow, I thought. Ok, I can do this. I picked out mushrooms, avocadoes, organic chicken for $2.69 a pound, orange juice, even ice cream (2 for 1). With my list in hand. I was ready to shop. Unfortunately, it took a little convincing to get Doug in on my plan. We were driving back from Bozeman when I announced that we were going shopping – supercouponing to be exact.

“So,” I said. “Here’s the game plan. You’re going to get a separate basket, and fill it with $15 worth of  items that we need that are not on sale, like milk. After I check out, I’ll get the coupon for the $15 and then hand it to you for your transaction.” It sounded like a bank heist.

“But I didn’t bring my wallet,” he said.

This didn’t faze me.

“No problem. You shouldn’t need your credit card. You’ll have the coupon?”

He didn’t look convinced. This whole separate transaction thing seemed problematic. I tried a different idea.

“Ok. How ’bout you wait until I’ve finished checking out, and then will go into another aisle and check out your basket.”

“Why can’t we come back at another time for the $15 worth?” He clearly wasn’t into this.

What ended up stopping his participation was the price of milk. He walked over to the dairy section and found out that the milk was double the price that we normally pay at Town and Country. This ended his participation.

“Is there a problem?” I said, frustrated that the Cheerios was now not marked on sale.

“Tell me, why are we buying more expensive milk here again?”

I started to explain one more time, and then I just decided to lose the battle.

“All right, let’s just use the coupon another time. Don’t worry about picking out groceries.”

With my sale items in hand, we march up to checkout, and a sales clerk who we happened to know (small town).

I tell him I hope to get the $15 coupon, but when he checks me out my total bill is $50 and no coupon appears from the Catalina machine.

“Huh,” I say. “I know I bought the sales items in the flyer.”

This sparks the most embarrassing point of the night, when the supervisor gets involved.

Our clerk turns to ask his supervisor for help, “Mary, we have a problem over here. The coupon isn’t printing out and she says she purchased the food.”

The manager beckons me over and pulls out the sales flyer. “Now, she said, which foods did you buy?” The back of the sales flyer where she is pointing does not contain any of my items so I flip it over to point to the avocados and she says, “No, I’m sorry, did you buy any of these items?” and flips it back.

“Um, no,” I say. “I thought the sale applied to the whole flyer.”

She gives me an impatient sigh and points to a small box on the back with about 12 items – mostly canned iced frosting and country crock margarine. “Well, I’m sorry, but you have to purchase $30 of these items in order to get the coupon.”

“Oh,” I say. “Thanks.”

I think I hear Doug snicker in the background. I feel like I just got reprimanded from the teacher for reading the Cliff Notes version of Romeo and Juliet.

I managed to outsmart myself, which is deeply embarrassing, especially in front of a skeptic, but I’m not giving up. I’m going to figure out supercouponing if it kills me, because that’s what obsessive compulsive disorder does to people.