How to feel better about the economy
23 Apr
Martha, Martha, Martha. Just when I was starting to like you again. The stories of you picking dandelions in the prison yard and leading yoga sessions for the other inmates made me smile and think how plucky and resilient you are when the chips were down. Now, when I need to make apple cobbler or something with arugula and goat cheese I use your recipe search online, and though I haven’t used any of the organizational tips you e-mail me it’s the thought that counts, right?
Produce from last year's garden - the closest I can get to a Martha Stewart like image
So, why did you have to do an interview with the Washington Post that made you look so out-of-touch with the common woman who doesn’t iron her napkins before each meal? I mean, c’mon, glitter? Just the first line of the article made me laugh:
”Martha Stewart has a plan for how everyone can endure the economic crisis: by glittering, embossing and beading.”
Really? Is that what we’ve been missing? Crafts?
It gets much worse. Another excerpt:
Q: How is the recession affecting domestic life and people making things at home?
Martha’s Answer: People are staying home and enjoying it by crafting and beautifying their home with decorating and cooking. They can’t afford to travel, but they can afford a [$23] glitter kit.
A $23 glitter kit? I’ve made it 32 years without buying a glue gun, thank you very much, and now I’m supposed to buy a glitter kit?
Oh, but there is more. Martha, again:
“In this time, when people have lost money in their IRA accounts and they may have lost their jobs and are having trouble making ends meet, they can lose themselves in beautiful projects.”
So, if I’m hungry, and I need to feel better about my situation, I should get some beads, glue, and glitter and just lose myself in beauty. Not whiskey? I don’t know, maybe it could work?
It’s sad to me that Martha has to cut back on her tree plantings this year because of the recession (god knows, we need a few more trees) but frankly, she sounds more than a little miffed that people might (gasp!) bring her a few good brownies for a hostess gift instead of fine wine. Read on:
Q: Your daughter, Alexis, and pal Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, who do the Fine Living cable show “Whatever, Martha!,” did an online poll asking if someone was going to visit you, Martha Stewart, which item wouldthey take as a hostess gift: homemade brownies, a bottle of the finest wine, fresh flowers from their garden or a store-bought cake? The flowers got the most votes online, but what would be your choice?
Martha’s Answer (listen for tone): ”My choice would be a bottle of wine. If you bring flowers, it’s like bringing coals to Newcastle. I have more flowers than most people. I certainly don’t need a cake; I would be making the cake. Brownies? No.”
Coals to Newcastle? Martha also advises her gift-giving guests not to get too distracted by Twittering about it. “Too many of us are sitting around Twittering. How about knitting? Knit me a sweater or a scarf.”
As for blogging? She can keep up with it via her blackberry and the laptops that are available everywhere she goes. Martha, I’m impressed. Crafts can cure everything.
My dear Janelle, you should have known better than to start liking her again. Did you leave part of your brain in Australia? Jet lag? Post anaphylactic shock?? However, your still life is lovely.
Thank you! Actually, Doug is responsible for taking about 99% of the photos on this blog, but I’ll let him know that you liked the photo. Yes, I don’t know what happened to my addled brain, but Martha did manage to make an impression.
Janelle,
What happened to the Bee Sting cake?
MJ
Sorry, didn’t bring any back with me. I’ll try to find a recipe and make some for our next writer’s group meeting!
I think that the key to forgetting about our economic woes using the glitter and glue approach, has more to do with the glue.
A very wise thought actually. You can do a lot more with duct tape than glitter in this economy! Janelle
I loved this post. Thanks! Glitter is litter! Glitter is a ridiculous suggestion from a woman who never has to vacuum. I was impressed that Martha could bake a souffle on a radiator, though!
My daughter and her friend were doing a “school project” with glitter at our house because the other mother was smart enough to “just say no” to glitter. That glitter had more staying power than plutonium!
I bought Martha’s first Christmas book and never made a thing out of it, which in the past I might have attempted to do. She used gold leaf on cookies! She made some elaborate spun sugar netting over a pile of cream puffs, each one of which would have taken me a week to make, by which time they’d be all soggy. And then I’d have to contend with the third-degree burns from the boiling burnt sugar syrup. She and Julia Child made competing cream puff piles on Martha’s show once. Julia’s slumped. It was adorable. I’m too lazy to look up the Italian (or is it French?) name for this elaborate dessert construction.
Martha provides pornography for women. When we look at these crafts and recipes we fantacize about the perfect holiday (or I used to years ago) the way men fantacize when they look at the swimsuit edition (so I’ve been told…) Neither have anything to do with reality! That said, I still get a kick out of watching Martha some times, especially when I’m eating a bowl of cereal for dinner….
I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I think you’re right. Martha offers women this idea that if you can just get your glitter, folding, and menus just right then you’ll be happy. I signed up for her e-mailed organizational tips, which is little like buying a diet book when you have no intention of eating anything but fudge for the rest of your life. Anyway, I think one of the best things about being an adult is having cold cereal for dinner if you want it. Now that would be a funny cook book! Janelle
Great interview! What happened to the cake?